Oooh! Look at our amazing Photoshop work on our logo. We would never Photoshop a earnings page though-trust us!

The “Millionaire Society” is a internet marketing group that sells affiliate products to unassuming individuals who are interested in making money online. That would be great if you were going to profit from anything they are selling. I will admit, they spend a great deal of their ill-gotten gains on hiring the very best copywriters, and advertising experts to deliver a sales pitch that would con even my ultra-frugal grandmother.

The product we will look at today is called “Domain Flipping” by The Millionaire Society. Domain flipping, huh? That’s real original. These guys claim they can turn $10 into $1000 in less than 14 days or whatever. I remember people flipping domains as far back as 1997. This is not a new business but rather a forgotten one. Believe me, if you do a quick Google search for “domain flipping information” you will come up with millions of free resources from people who have been doing it for years.

You may say “But Birk, they have a really cool video that makes me feel special, unique…like I could be the next millionaire.” Yes, my unassuming reader, they do. It is a fancy video. And the guy (Mack Michaels, I assume) has a very kind and endearing voice that sounds like he weighs 120 and would rescue a stray kitten. Don’t be fooled, my friend. It is pure scam. You can watch the video for yourself here. It includes a FTC warning/disclaimer at the beginning, if that is any indication.

There is money to be made flipping domains. Domain Flipping by Millionaire Society isn’t the way. Honestly, most of the major hosing providers out there offer a domain flipping marketplace. However, you do not need to buy some “get rich” product to do it. There is no hidden secret behind domain flipping. Sometimes you register a domain and get lucky; it may sell for more than you paid. If you do this with hundreds of domains, you may make a decent side income. Still no secrets.

Think of it this way; if there was some great secret, would this guy really share it with you? If it was your secret, would you share it with everyone else? The answer is no!

Now you are probably asking “But Birk, what about all of the numbers, and testimonials, and success tracking, and swirly things, and whizzy-wonders I saw as proof that it works? Ah, my friends, these are classic sales gimmicks. There is no quality control performed by clickbank.com. These numbers could be completely fabricated. The images might be totally fake. Ever use Photoshop before? Using Photoshop, I once made a picture of a man holding an elephant like a baby. I don’t think creating a fake earnings page would be too difficult. Additionally, as I said before, maybe this guy did make some money. Do you really think he wants to saturate the market with competition by sharing his “secret?”

Do not buy “Domain Flipping by Millionaire Society.” If you want to learn about the wonderful world of flipping domains, then do a Google search, look for websites and forums with people who have been doing it successfully for years; even before there was a Domain Flipping Scam” product from Millionaire Society.

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Mom!! Can you bring me and my friends some more pizza Bagel Bites?

I was talking with a group of people the other day at a local coffee shop. Randomly, a conversation arose about modern guys and how “scrawny” seems to be the new look for most of them. We all agreed that we had noticed this new generation of guys all looked like stick figures. So, after a quick look at the up-and-coming pop-stars and actors online, I decided to find out why.

I graduated high school in the mid 90′s, and I know there were a few scrawny “skateboarders who dream of being in a band” but they were an exception to the rule. Now it seems like all the guys are scrawny, skinny, and starved-looking. I am still amazed (and disgusted) by the fact that today’s young guys can fit into (and wear daily) women’s skinny jeans. Gross.

I remember playing sports in high school, working out, and trying to impress the girls. I was no different that any other guy at school. Girls loved a muscular guy, and especially one who excelled at a particular sport. Things sure seem different now. In today’s world, video games are the new sport, being pale and skinny with a giant hair-helmet is considered attractive, and girls are more muscular than the guys!

What the hell is going on? Well, I have a few theories. I also have a few surprising facts. What my findings conclude is this phenomenon is not by choice. Today’s girls are developing far earlier than in years past and guys are under-developing. Girls have changed their taste to the scrawny, pasty, pale guy not by choice, but by necessity. The traditional “muscle-guy” is now almost obsolete.

Let’s start at the top. Two main points regarding nature must be observed first.

Number one: Guys are supposed to be muscular. It is in our genes. We are by nature “hunter-gatherers.” You can’t do much hunting and gathering if you are as lanky as a stick figure. Being physically fit is hard-coded into our DNA, regardless of weather or not we haven’t had the need to hunt or gather in the last few decades. In fact, it is why guys produce testosterone. It takes thousands of years to change a species genetically. So although our modern day hunting is finding a restaurant on an iPad, and gathering is having the food  delivered, hunting and gathering is still in our core DNA.

Number two: Girls are supposed to want guys who are physically fit. No where else in nature do any other species of female intentionally try to mate with the weakest animal in the herd. Could you imagine a female tiger looking for the sickly little runt male tiger to mate with? The answer is no, and for good reason. If a healthy female mates with a sickly, weak, pale, scrawny male; the offspring will inherit the pathetic genes. These scrawny offspring probably won’t survive against other predators. Over time, the species may become extinct. That’s why it does not happen. Humans are no different. Girls today are fighting against this selective breeding and mating because the gene pool is saturated and polluted with scrawny “wanna-be-a-pop-star” guys. It does not help matters that these “genetically-challenged” guys are celebrated in the media. Just look at some of the most famous young singers, pop-stars, etc of today and you’ll see what I mean.

The main reason for this drastic shift is not a choice.

I have heard the argument that it is all because of video games. Or it is because kids don’t play outside like they used to. While these are true and valid points, they are not the main cause. When I was a kid we had video games too. We had television, cable, and even computers. They were not as advanced as they are today, but everything is relevant to it’s own time period. My dad, for example, thought our video games were cutting-edge technology from outer space. (I I’ve heard it a million times that he only had sticks and rocks to play with when he was young). Although increased video game playing and less physical activity are indeed factors in “Generation Skinny-jeans” it is not the main factor.

The main factor is the level of estrogen in the water supply, in meats, milk, and the plastic packaging they come in! This is not a “conspiracy theory” – here are the facts and some expert studies:

1- BPA (Bisphenol-A) is a organic compound added to most plastics. In fact, until the last decade, it was in almost all plastics. Now, occasionally you will see a “BPA-Free” label on some items like baby bottles. Bisphenol A is an endocrine disruptor, which can mimic the body’s own hormone, estrogen, and may lead to negative health effects. In fact, it is banned in Europe, Canada, and several other countries. It is labeled as a toxic substance that can negatively affect health and reproduction. BPA alone is not the cause, as there are many other substances like this added to the manufacturing process of plastics. When these are heated (microwave food and teenagers), the amount that contaminates food goes up considerably.

2- Estrogen in drinking water. How does it get there? Women take contraceptives. Women go pee-pee. Contraceptives go to the water supply. The water treatment plants can’t remove it. It is consumed by men and women through drinking water. (Ever wonder why the rate of infertility is so high these days? That’s another post we’ll cover later on). There is so much estrogen in the water supply that scientists have found male fish that have changed gender. I think Lady Gaga drank from that pond.

3- Meats and milk. Estrogen is given to cows because, just like female women, it makes their boobies develop faster and even produce more milk. Cows that produce more milk make degenerate farmers more money. It also makes cows fatter (Look at current US obesity rates…again, we’ll cover that in another post). Fatter cows make more money for meat sales. Estrogen does not go away through pasteurization of milk or cooking meat.

4- Prenatal. Remember, everything you do while pregnant is passed to your unborn child. Everything I have listed above applies to what today’s teens are introducing into their bodies. Where did they get into the habit of eating everything from a plastic bag? Microwave food? Cheap meats? That’s right…the parent ate them as well. Not only did the parent eat them, they introduced them to the baby at a very young (and crucial) age. As babies they drank microwave-warmed, estrogen-containing milk from bottles made with BPA. When they got older, they ate “Hot-pockets”  and “Pizza-bagels” heated in BPA plastic wrap filled with meat that was contaminated with estrogen. Then they headed to the nearest fast food joint where they ate more estrogen-laced food because mom does not have time to cook. She is busy taking estrogen contraceptives.

These observations are completely backed up with data. Google anything related to what I have listed above and you will find thousands of medical studies, reviews, etc. on the subject. Oh, and as for blaming the government, don’t you dare. It is our (yours and mine) responsibility to feed our children healthy foods instead of waiting for someone else to do it. If you want change, don’t ask for it. Demand it…but don’t ever blame someone else. That’s a cop-out.

Anyway, enough writing for now. At least if you’re a scrawny guy you know why now. Blame the government and your parents. Teens have done this for years. Or maybe start eating healthy and working out. By working out, I don’t mean use the “Wii Fit Board.” Parents, take a minute away from Desperate Housewives, Hunger Games, Twilight…whatever and cook healthy food for your children. You’re too old to daydream about being those girls anyway.

(Articles coming soon: “Why Are Girls Developing So Damn Early These Days” and “Why Is Infertility On The Rise?”)

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These are really GPS coordinates under my eyes. They lead to a secret cave filled with treasures.

First of all, I know this guy plays football. I know that he uses God as a marketing gimmick. I know he is traded to a new team; the “Airplanes?” The “jets?”

Who knows. Who really cares?

The point is, I don’t want to see it splashed across my Yahoo home page or Google news every day. You know what the real problem is? It’s not like this guy just cured cancer, or put a coat on every child in need at Christmas time. He throws a ball. Yep. That’s pretty much it. Throws a ball. Across the country, there are millions of people who would cry, pass out, or even trade family members just to meet him. Even Jesus didn’t get that level of celeb status, and he actually healed people! I think what is most upsetting, is that so many people idolize random people that grab a little fame from time to time. I have personally witnessed men (and women) go absolutely crazy when this guy is on television.

The very same people have NEVER acted with 1% of the same enthusiasm towards their children and their accomplishments. What the hell? Imagine a society of children that will someday lead our country. Their foundation? A generation of grown men and women that idolized random people for being able to throw a ball good. Wow. In generations past, sports were secondary to advances in education, medicine, technology, innovation, peace, and overall prosperity. It is amazing how far we’ve come. Amazing.

My words of advice to fan(atics)? I think before someone so pathetically tries to live vicariously through some random guy who can throw good, make sure your family feels loved. Make sure you have a legacy to leave behind. Do you only want to be known as “that guy who had an unhealthy obsession about some random sports figure that could throw good?”  Or would you rather leave behind a life that was lived to the fullest, or brought some form of contribution to the “real world?”

My advice to Google, Yahoo, and MSN (since I know you are listening). Stop pushing value-less news into the faces of the masses. CATEGORIZE your news better. If someone wants to obsess about a guy throwing a ball, let them make the decision to click a link. Real news should be kids that accomplish something amazing through diversity, someone who overcame some tremendous feat, maybe a doctor that is close to curing cancer…or best yet…a TEACHER!

Okay, done ranting. Tim Tebow, I don’t know you. This isn’t personal. I am sure you do really throw good.

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The fall of the roman empire: Coming soon to a theater near you?

I have often dreamed of traveling to Rome. I want to stand where a strong, proud and powerful civilization once stood. I would reach down, grab a handful of dirt, and let it slowly fall through my fingers.

Was that same dirt once stained with the blood of battling gladiators?

Perhaps it was the very dirt that clung to the sandals of Brutus just before he plunged a dagger into the flesh of his trusting friend, Cesar? This is the stuff that awes, inspires, ignites the imagination…and also raises a BIG question: “How in the hell did Rome fall?”

Let me first give a quick history lesson about ancient Rome. For over 400 years, Rome was the world power; they were unstoppable. The Romans made constant innovations on science, astrology, and engineering. They had a solid and seemingly unwavering infrastructure.

Then, in a matter of decades, it was all gone. Rome was left in ruble. Rome, once a beautiful and striving civilization, was now in ruins. So what happened? How did this once invincible society fall so quickly?

Modern day scholars blame the fall of the Roman empire on several issues. Here is a short list describing conditions faced by the Romans just before the fall. Some attest it was “the perfect storm.”

Here are just five of several dozen reason why the Roman empire collapsed:

• First: Increased divorce rate and decreased level of sanctity and values in the home (sound familiar?)
• Second: Higher and higher taxes (bingo).
• Third: Frivolous spending by lower/middle class on luxury items, cult-like following of sports and theater “Bread and Circuses” (soccer moms buying things they can’t afford as status symbols, modern-day sports psychopaths, pale video-gamers, and Twilight/hunger Games fanatics).
• Fourth: Stock-piling armaments when the real enemy was within; and colossal spending on multiple wars (That’s us for sure).
• Fifth: The decay of religion; people becoming afraid of rulers, and feeling empowered through permitted “peaceful protest”  in the form of plays, theater, and congregation (pay attention Occupy Wall Street).

Now, before you history buffs start dissecting this observation of mine, I admit there are many other factors. However, it is agreed on by countless experts that “Bread and Circuses” played a major role in the ultimate demise of the Romans. What is Bread and Circuses? Well, it is not a literal representation; a loaf of bread and a tent full of animals did not bring down an entire civilization.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about it…

“Bread and Circuses” (or bread and games) (from Latin: panem et circenses) is a metaphor for a superficial means of appeasement. It was the basic Roman formula for the well-being of the population, and hence a political strategy unto itself. In the case of politics, the phrase is used to describe the creation of public approval, not through exemplary or excellent public service or public policy, but through diversion, distraction, and/or the mere satisfaction of the immediate, shallow requirements of a populace. The phrase also implies the erosion or ignorance of civic duty amongst the concerns of the common man (l’homme moyen sensuel).

As you may realize after reading this, Americans are doing just that. Look at the way people obsessively follow sports teams. Entire cities shut down for basketball games. Even once proud American men may shed tears of sorrow after a loss. How pathetic. Right now, there is near hysteria over the NCAA playoffs. These are just grown men playing simple games. In ancient Rome, men would fight lions and each other in a battle to the death; captivating huge audiences in a display of skill and bravery. Today, we are just as captivated; only it is a man throwing a ball through a hole [basketball]. This is sad. What’s worse, many of these same men are fathers and do not show 1% of that emotion towards their children participating in a spelling bee, or when they have a good report card. And we wonder what is wrong with this country?

And ladies, you are just as guilty. For years, the powers that be have found a way to distract American men from the degradation of the USA with simple sports “circuses.” Now, you have your own obsession. It is called Twilight and Hunger Games. The social experiment worked. You fell for it. You get to live out a fantasy world where a woman “has the power to…” or is “desired by”, or maybe saved the whole damn world. I don’t know. What I do know is, it has become a cult-like following. Here is the strangest part. The movies are not even that good. I guess it is more about what the movies represent. It gives women a feeling of escape from a life they could only dream about; a man that they possibly could have had. In some cases…it is a reminder of their youth. Whatever…I don’t really know or care. It is not the point I am trying to make here.

The point is, sports for men and chick flicks for women. It is drawing our attention away from the real world we currently live in. All around us our infrastructure is in decay. Divorce is rising every year; married couples are now a minority. We spend money we don’t have on designer brands we really can’t afford. We want to look rich, and act rich-but while living on borrowed money. Our leaders keep spending on war and the expansion of government when we are trillions in debt. China straight-up owns our asses!

As a small light in this otherwise bleak look at the future of America is the 99%. If you have followed any of the #Occupy stuff on Twitter or heard about it in the news, a large movement of people are mad at the 1% of people who supposedly make all of the money. I am not getting into that right now, but what I will say is it is a great effort. The Romans tried that too. Although a large percentage of the population were preoccupied with sports and theater, there were some “rebels” that saw through the bullshit and wanted change. Instead of blowing the cover on what they were doing, Roman leaders permitted “peaceful protest”. They even provided security guards at the gatherings to create the illusion that they had a right to be heard and that rulers cared about their plight. Hmmm….sound familiar?

You see, the way the powers-that-be look at it is, go ahead and let them camp out in tents. Let them talk about war, religion, federal spending and unemployment. Let them get it all out of their system. It isn’t going to make a damn bit of difference. They will get tired of living in tents, the media will get bored with the story, and it will all blow over. Everyone will go home with only a faint memory to tell future grandchildren they once fought “The Man”  The few who refuse to give up will realize that they need to get more aggressive. They will ultimately break something or harass a police officer and then, with dwindles numbers, will only look like a rouge group of unemployed people causing a public disturbance. They will be arrested and will finally give up. It isn’t a conspiracy theory. Every civilization in the history of man has dealt with the same thing (only past civilizations didn’t have Twitter).

Think I’m wrong? I’m not. Think about protests in the 60′s. If you are too young to remember, look it up. Not on the internet, but get a book from that time period. What happened there is identical to what is happening now. The outcome will be the same too.

The reason I wrote this post was not to make anyone angry. After all, true anger would be not finding a good seat at the theater on opening night of Hunger Games, right? Or real anger is your team not throwing a ball through a metal circle enough times. Yes, that is anger. I wouldn’t want anyone getting mad at the current political system, the quality of their children’s education, or the overall condition of the United States. Where’s the “fun” in that?

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My "pet parents" run a meth-lab. Can you adopt me, Sarah McLachlan?

This is Mr. Puppers. He is not a dog.

That’s right folks, Mr. Puppers has a highly evolved brain and is more like a child than a dog.

Sadly, Mr. Puppers was dealt a bad hand of cards in life. He is the child (not dog) of a mother and father who run a successful meth-lab. I think the only way to save Mr. Puppers is to hire a washed-up artist to write a special song about Mr. Puppers.

I want the ASPCA fund a commercial that can narrate the feelings Mr. Puppers has about his life as an abused pet-child. I want to hear sad music in the background and show dialogue boxes that describe what Mr. Puppers thinks about on a daily basis.

Is this a joke, you ask? Nope. It’s true. Commercials such as this do exist. They exist because they are well funded by a new and ever growing group of people who refer to themselves as “pet parents.”  The demographic is mostly women, although there is an increasing number of men who are following suit. These “parents” take pet ownership to a very unhealthy level. A Google search for pet accessories will reveal complete lines of pet clothing, accessories, and even pet car seats and designer jewelry.

Although these fancy trinkets have always existed, they have never been sold at such a high rate as in the last decade. Long ago, only the rich bought diamond-encrusted dog collars and plush designer beds. Now, the largest consumer of such wasteful products is actually the middle and lower class demographic of society. Here are some statistics and then I’ll tell you why so many crazy women (and some men) are now treating their dogs like real “children.”

According to the ASPCA website http://aspca.org:

• About 62 percent of all households in the United States have a pet. (Source: APPA)
• About 78.2 million dogs and about 86.4 million cats are owned in the United States. (Source: APPA)
• The average cost of basic food, supplies, medical care and training for a dog or cat is $600 to $900 annually.

Now, to the untrained eye, it just looks like a hell of a lot of people love them some dog and cat companionship. Let’s look a little closer:

62% of households have pets. There is approximately 311,591,917 - Jul 2011 people in the US. That’s well over 100,000,000 (hundred-million) people.

78.2 million dogs and 86.4 million cats are owned in the US. That is a total of 164.6 million cats and dogs! That total accounts for over half of the total population of humans in the US! In fact, according to http://childstats.org, there were only 75.6 million children ages 0-17 in the US! Dogs and cats outnumber children by double!

And finally, here is the crazy part (sorry…it’s ALL crazy), people spend an estimated $600-$900 per year on basic pet necessities. This does not include all of the stuff crazy psychos buy to make dogs into real-live “children.” Ready for a grande total? Taking the more conservative number ($600) people in the US spend $98,400,000,000 – that’s 98 billion, 400 million dollars! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

This post is not about economics, so I won’t dabble on about what the US could be doing with all that loot. However, education, infrastructure, and federal deficit do come to mind…I’ll remember that for another time.

This is about the crazy people that treat this massive hoard of four-legged beasts like their own children. For simplicity sake, I have divided up these people into several categories. Some people may fit into one or several. Normal people will not fit into any of them.

Category #1 – Menopausal women - Menopausal women whose children moved out  just as the hot flashes started making a daily appearance. The severity of the “pet-child” behavior is determined by the conditions of the move out. If the child was troubled (on meth or knocked up without knowing who the daddy is), expect the pet-child behavior to be worse. If it was for college, the pet-child replaces the real child and may even get to call the real child’s old bedroom it’s own. If the mom was basically self-absorbed in her own issues with a troubled marriage and the child(ren) move out, the dog basically becomes a replacement for the child. Apparently some women look at this as a chance to “start over” and give parenting 100% effort.

Category #2 – Divorce -  Becoming a crazy person who looks at their dog like a child could happen by way of divorce. Divorce can turn men and women into the type of people that call their dogs and cats “children.” The circumstances are usually that the relationship was rocky for a long period of time, or the man or woman (maybe both) are very insecure in the big wide world now that they are alone. In some cases, the dog replaces the feeling of loss for the spouse that left the household and now doubles as a pet-child and pet-spouse. This is the craziest form of all.

Category #3 – The “Eeyore syndrome.” -  Remember Eeyore from Winnie the Poo? His classic line was “Not that anybody cares anyway.” Well, the same way Eeyore was “starved for attention” or never felt like he was good enough; people can develop the “Eeyore syndrome” as well. Several circumstances in life can lead to the Eeyore syndrome. The most common are: women who’s father didn’t give them enough attention, women who feel less pretty or less intelligent than their sisters, men whose fathers were not around or mom had one-too-many random “man-friends”, men or women that have serious self-image issues. These are not all situations that lead to the Eeyore syndrome, but are the most common.

Category #4 – Homosexuality!   Here are the facts: Seven out of ten (71%) GLBT adults today say that they own pets, compared with 63 percent of heterosexual adults, according to the results of a new national survey. The same survey also shows that nine in ten (90%) GLBT pet owners say their pet is a member of their family and 64 percent also add that they have bought their pet a holiday present.

The new nationwide survey of 2,455 U.S. adults, (ages 18 and over), of whom more than 6 percent, or 158, self identified as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, was conducted online between November 7 and 13, 2007, by Harris Interactive®, a global market research and consulting firm, in conjunction with Witeck-Combs Communications, Inc., a strategic public relations and marketing communications firm with special expertise in the GLBT market. BTW, FYI… the GLBT means “Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Trans-sexual”. Not to be confused with a “BLT”, which is “Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato.”

Category #5 – Poverty - That’s right. You would think things like food, water, and housing would be at the top of the list. Nope, it’s pets. I understand that people living in destitute find that little ray of sunshine in having “good ‘ol Fido” around, but if there are children in the household – their needs should be met before any animal’s. I have personally witnessed children in the vet’s office that needed shoes and a new coat, but mom instead is chain-smoking and holding onto a leash with three or four “pet-children” instead of taking the real child for dental checkups or doctor’s visits. Get mad all you want, folks, reality is a hard thing to face sometimes. I really believe that people in poverty look at pet-children like a way to escape. I am no expert, but I am pretty sure on this one. It’s psychology 101.

Category #6 – Abuse - This is no laughing matter, and can affect men and women. Sometimes a grown man or woman was abused as a child. Sometimes it was a woman by a spouse. I have researched lots of cases where people with past abuse have adopted a “pet-child.” It is sad. I included it because it contributes to the statistics. What people in this category need is professional counseling. Professional counseling is expensive. People with an abusive past usually do not function well in society. People who do not function well in society usually earn a lot less money. Professional counseling (the good kind) costs a lot of money. Maybe some of the billions spent on pets should be redirected to these people? Treating a dog like it is a child is not a long-term solution.

This could take forever! I could continue profile people with an unhealthy affection for a dog or cat, but it would take 10 more pages. The point is, people who treat a dog like a dog and a cat like a cat are quickly becoming a minority. The main factor is MONEY! The pet industry is huge! Manufacturers of pet supplies and accessories are some of the top financial contributors for commercials that encourage adoption of abused and neglected “pet-children.” Why? The more people that have pets, the more money they make! Simple math and corporate greed.

In decades past, you were considered a lunatic of you treated a dog like it was your child. People who look at a dog or cat as “just a pet” do not spend as much money on them. So, the pet industry got involved and started funding advertisements in most women’s magazines, during commercials on women’s programming, and even recently targeted men. With that level of saturation (and with the addition of getting celebrities involved), it makes it seem normal to treat your pet like family. In fact, the level of saturation makes you feel like a horrible person if you don’t.

Additionally, the rates on unemployment and divorce are at an all time high, and menopause will always be around. This creates a perfectly cultivated market for the pet industry to push propaganda on a society full of needy, neglected and attention starved people. Add to that the fact that the current “ME Generation” side-stepped their parental responsibilities, created resentful “generation X and Y”  that now turn to various addictions, and get the hell out of the house. This leaves lots of women in their 40′s and 50′s lonely and looking for that special pet child the can now raise the right way. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything.

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Clickbank is amazing! Now I can sell useless retarded crap to unassuming people and buy a Ferrari!

Authentic Interview

[Name of affiliate marketer in this interview has been changed due to the fact he would compromise his online sales by telling the whole truth]

This interview is with a top-level internet marketer between myself (Birk) and a man we will call “Chandon’t”. This post is published in all categories because it makes me angry and I want people to read it no matter where Google lands them.

Birk: Hello “Chandon’t”, thank you for taking the time to meet with me. So, you have had a great deal of success in affiliate marketing through clickbank.com and other sites? Also, why are you giving me this insider information today?

Chandon’t: Yes. I don’t make millions like I advertise online, but I do make several hundred thousand a year. It is a tough business though; there is a lot of competition and you have to constantly change things according to what the next big thing is.  I also sell audiobooks, and eBooks that give detailed ways to make money by choosing a niche market, building a keyword database,  creating a squeeze page, and driving traffic to your product. I want to share this information today because I have stopped affiliate marketing after seeing people in real need [poor people] spend money they really didn’t have on a false dream I was selling.

Birk: So, what kinds of programs or “systems” did you promote?

Chandon’t: I primarily sell get-rich-online systems that sell prospective users on “secrets” that only I know that will make them rich. Usually, I make my money by selling to people who know very little about affiliate marketing, or just enough that they think they have it figured out but are missing a key piece of information. I Promise that information. Surprisingly, almost half of my income comes from other affiliate marketers. They may have a product or service that does not sell well, or make a fake review site about my products or services. They create a site that looks like they are selling their own product, but what they are really doing is pushing my product through a unique affiliate link.

I also create sites that bash my product(s). I know, it sounds crazy, but if you are selling several products that are similar, you can create a site that criticizes one product and offers a comparable product that works better. They are both actually your product. You make money either way.

Birk: Wow. I had no idea so much was going on behind closed doors. Do you ever conspire with other affiliate marketers to create a multi-level marketing type of system like the pyramid schemes of the 90′s?

Chandon’t: Yes. In fact, clickbank.com encourages this type of activity. It is crooked and misleading. They call it a “JV affiliate program”. JV stands for joint venture. These ventures are not regulated and can involve campaigns that stretch several languages and countries to make money from customers. Another way we make continous revenue is by selling subscription-based systems.

Birk: What are subscriptions?

Chandon’t: We create products that look like we are going to give you the secret to making millions online in one package. This package includes sales copy and wording that would make just about anyone believe what we are saying. When they buy the initial book, there are several follow-up addendum and add-on’s that they need to purchase to make the system work. here is a good example: Let’s say I am selling a system that promises lots of traffic to your affiliate product or website (one I showed you how to create). What you are actually buying is a eBook that gives superficial and generic information on making the system work and a list of proprietary software that you will need to make it a success. Here’s the kicker: I am also pushing the software. I am either an affiliate or I have contracted some guy in India for $50.00 to create a script that I turn around and sell for $150.00. Additionally, you will need to pay a monthly fee for access to the internet-based software and for continued support. We affiliates refer to this support as “coaching”. It sounds less like a sale and more like a friend.

Birk: Why would a company like clickbank.com allow this type of sales?

Chandon’t: Clickbank.com makes millions and millions each year from the top 1% of it’s affiliates. The rest are just for numbers purposes. We are the hand that feeds them. The rules are different for those at the top. If you or any other random person tried some of the stuff we get away with, you would be declined or banned. This keeps everything looking like it is on the “up-and-up”. Believe me, 99% of all new and existing affiliate have no idea how much money is made by the big guys. It is sick. However, you have less than 1% chance in ever becoming one. It is an elite group, or “societies” that conspire together.

Birk: What about all of the testimonials and pictures of people that have had success? Oh, and what about pictures of you posing in front of mansions and nice cars?

Chandon’t: Well, the cars are real, and I do have a nice house. In fact in one sales page i even showed the vehicle registration for my Mercedes E-Class. What I didn’t disclose is that I only got those things through first faking it. I would show pictures of me posing in front of big mansions and fancy cars; but they were houses being sold, friends houses, friends cars, etc. At one point, I was even posing in front of cars in parking lots.  As for the testimonials, a Google search will reveal companies that sell complete (and fake) identities. You can buy candid-looking pictures of people that live overseas and give them a name, an address, etc. It will all appear to check out. Believe it or not, I happened upon a competitors site one day and noticed an exact testimonial picture I had on my affiliate product site. The guy on his site was from Germany and named Mathias. Mine was Rick…from Michigan. LOL!

Birk: I want to thank you for your time today, Chandon’t. Although I am sad to hear of the level of scamming that goes into affiliate marketing, I am glad to know the whole truth. This will be of great value to anyone who is thinking of buying affiliate products, or selling them in hopes to get rick quick. I have one last “million-dollar” question: As a unknowing buyer, would you ever make money off any product you have sold?

Chandon’t: Nothing I have ever sold would make anyone any real money. In fact, I have yet to see a product sold by any affiliate that would make them any amount of money higher than what they paid for the product that is supposed to get them rich. Think of it this way, if something really worked…truly made someone money…it would dominate everything else. No other affiliate marketer would have a chance. There would be one website with one product. Sounds nice, but no such product exists. Also, use your common sense, If you found a goose that laid golden eggs, would you tell anyone else about it? Companies spend billions each year on non-disclosure agreements and patents to make sure they protect their golden-egg-laying-geese. You will never see a program that tells how to really make money online, unless you see a title that says “How I scam millions a year from hopeful internet marketers”. But if you see that…it’s probably a scam too!

[End of interview]

Thinking of becoming an affiliate marketer? Don’t. Not only will you most likely be unsuccessful in making any amount of money, you will be making a select group of people wealthy in the process. Many of us have seen our share of affilite marketing bullshit on the internet. Headlines like “Watch this free video to see how I am making $50,000 a month through Adsense” [or] “How to make millions selling information products online”. These programs are smoke and mirrors. You will never see any affiliate products on this website. If you bought an affiliate product that worked, by all means, share your store here. If you were screwed like millions of others, you may rant here. I better not see any affiliate links in the comments! Hahaa!

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Come on kids, follow me to fat town!

The following is a transcript of my interview with Ronald McDonald. Mr. McDonald is the child-friendly clown and the public-relations front for a fast food company that sells crap on a bun. This marketing concept is catching on. In the aftermath of the BP oil spill, the oil titan is trying to book Santa Claus for a public relations campaign.

Here is the interview:

Birk: Hi Ronald, I want to thank you for taking the time out of your schedule for this interview. I know 2011 was a busy and highly profitable year for McDonalds.

Ronald: I like cheeseburgers and so do my puppet friends.

Birk: Uh…okay? That’s great, but the reason I wanted to interview you is to get your feedback on the current obesity pandemic in the US. Do you feel that McDonalds sells food that should come with a warning label?

Ronald: I have red boots on.

Birk: Are you fu#@ing serious? I am trying to have a serious discussion on how fast food is contributing to the national obesity pandemic, and all you can say is “I have red boots on?” Please tell me you have something valuable to contribute. Hell, I don’t care if you lie about the quality of the food, or how you do not feel that McDonalds tries to brainwash children through toys in a box of dogfood (AKA: HappyMeal).

Ronald: I like to eat hair. McDonalds CEO said he would give me a baloon if I didn’t talk bad about the company during this interview.

Birk: You are an idiot. At least admit that you have some regret about promoting a brand that sells Grade D or lower meat ?

Ron: “D” is for Delicious!

Birk: So, you don’t think resturants should be forced to display all ingridents, additives (pink slime), and chemicals used in food?

Ron: It shows pickles, hamburger, and bun on the menu, doesn’t it?

Birk: Okay, I am done with this fu#@ing meeting.

It’s obvious that Mr. McDonald is not in charge of the popular hamburger chain; however, the people in charge are very smart. They have found a way to profit from selling the lowest grade food possible on a massive scale and at a 90% markup. They are not alone. Total fast food sales in 2011 are up at most fast food chains. It seems that a downturn economy is good for fast food business.

Statistically speaking,  approximately 100 people got fatter in the time it took to conduct this interview with Ronald McDonald. Okay, that may be a little extreme,  but only by a little. Obesity in America is becoming a pandemic. While third-world countries battle starvation and scarcity of food, Americans are eating themselves to death. The occurrence of diabetes, heart disease, and other serious health issues are at an all time high. We are becoming a society of gluttony and overindulgence. It is now widely accepted to be overweight; thin healthy people are becoming a minority…perhaps even extinct.

It doesn’t help matters that the media sees obesity as a new “cash-cow” (no pun intended). Advertising agencies look for what market demographic is most prevalent, and aim all efforts at that market. If the majority of the people are fat, then skinny people suddenly become a point of anger and resentment (and the minority). Even the major media outlets have joined the cause. Look at some of the more popular singers and movie stars these days. It’s like they are getting paid to get fat. The truth is, if they are fat, they can sell more concerts, more albums, and more movie tickets to people who are most like them. It creates an environment of acceptance and justification. This would be fine if the trend-setting was about morals or living a healthy lifestyle. Instead it’s the same skanky behavior, only now with much heavier celebrities.

If the majority of people in media and pop-culture are thin and health-conscious, then there will always be a market for expensive diet plans, weight loss medical procedures, and celebrities endorsing another Weight Watchers commercial. If there ever comes a day where obese people are the true majority, then I expect there will be weight-gain diets, celebrities endorsing butter, and Paula Dean will become a life coach!

The real issue: The media, internet, and even doctors have stopped trying to solve the obesity crisis and instead have found ways to capitalize from it. Sadly, parents are not controlling what their children are eating. They choose convenience over quality. When their kids get fat, they blame fast food and video game companies. Without a market, McDonalds and other fast food chains like it, would go out of business.

McDonalds sells crap because all of their competitors sell crap. I’m not going to lie, they make that crap taste amazing! Big Mac’s, tacos from Taco Bell, and oddly-shaped chicken nuggets from Wendy’s…sheer bliss. We forget the food is a just one grade away from being inedible. We forget that while the food is convenient and tasty, it is also clogging our arteries and destroying our internal organs. We just keep buying it. They keep selling it.

Responsibility ultimately lies on us, the consumer. We are responsible for our midsections and for setting a good example for our children to follow. If we leave it up to them, we have a mentally unstable clown calling the shots. Remember, it is supply and demand. Without demand, supply will dwindle. Ronald will have to find a new job. Maybe we’ll see him promoting vodka or cigarettes to teens next?

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